A Loss Of Innocence

About 20 years ago, I saw a movie starring Robert de Niro, Jessica Lange, and Nick Nolte that was a remake of the 1962 flick "Cape Fear".  I remember that it disturbed me so much that I was angry that I had watched it.  My husband and I had to walk around the mall and talk for quite some time after it ended until I felt "o.k." again.  Well, that movie was just on T.V. and I decided to watch it.  I don't know why.  Nostalgia?  Curiosity?  Masochism?  Whatever the reason. after it finished,  I was stunned.  Not because I found it as disturbing as I did before, but because I didn't.  In fact, I felt absolutely nothing.    I mean, I was completely numb to the violence and cruelty that ran though it.  O.K.  So it's been 20 years and I have 2 teen-aged sons now who have exposed me to the likes of "Call of Duty" and zombie-killing video games.  But that isn't why.  It's because, in the past 20 years, reality has become darker and scarier, and way stranger than fiction.

20 years ago, I would drive past Oncology Centers and would cringe, but then offer up a prayer of thanks that I had no idea what secrets they held.  Since then, their secrets have been revealed and the toll they have taken on family, friends and acquaintances has been staggering.  Now as I drive by such places, I have to force myself to erase the images that come to mind. 

Funerals used to be few and far between and were usually for someone who had lived a good and long life.  But, besides the many people I know who have lost their lives to cancer,  in the past year alone, I have personally known 4 people under the age of 25 who have tragically and suddenly died; one of them almost a member of our family, one a friend of my oldest son, one a young boy of 15, and the last a 23 year old that my boys grew up with in our old neighborhood.

I watched as terrorists slammed into New York's Twin Towers, taking thousands of innocent lives in the process.  I also learned the hard way that what is right and true does not always prevail.  I've learned that just because someone grows old doesn't mean they've grown up.  And that "yes" sometimes means "not really", while some promises seem to be made to be broken.    There was a time when I was sheltered from most of life's ugliness.  And the scary and really bad stuff was the stuff of fiction - found in the novels of Stephen King or Anne Rice, and in Hollywood thrillers like "Cape Fear".  

What, you may ask, is the point of this post?  It's pretty simple really.  In spite of all the above examples, life is a gift, and friends are to be treasured.   And sometimes it is by experiencing the darker things that this fallen world has to offer that we come to the point of realization.  The realization that the only thing that lasts, that is 100% faithful and true, and that will never let you down, is God.  Lent is drawing to an end.  If you haven't done so already, I hope you will find some time to spend in quiet contemplation, face-to-face with The One who embodies all that is good - with the Only One who can turn our sorrow into joy, who has conquered death by His death, and who is capable of restoring all we are and all we know to that place of innocence once more...

Until next time, happy and healthy eating - and God bless you all!