O.K. So I Am An Emotional Eater - What Do I Do About It?

Yesterday, I told you that when our eating gets out of control, it is often nothing more than an emotional response.  When we eat that entire row of Girl Scout cookies or the whole bag of Dorito Chips, it isn't what our body is actually craving and it certainly isn't what it needs!  But we still do it.  And after we've eaten them (or the bowl of M&M's or whatever we just could not resist), we feel terrible about ourselves.  It's a vicious cycle.  Remember, it's stress that releases the Cortisol that causes us to load up on sweets and fats, but then we feel stress because we followed that impulse.   When did it get so out of control?
 
Unfortunately, life is not always easy.  We feel stress at our jobs, when we have to deal with certain people in our lives, when we are waiting for medical test results, when we're going through exams at school, when the bank account is too low, when we're feeling guilty, or when things just don't match up to our expectations.   And, if we begin the above pattern, well, eating gives us comfort (at least for a while...). 

Binge eating used to be a big problem for me.  I could easily polish off a bag of any kind of chips at one sitting.  And, on a real bad day, I would drive through McDonald's and order my favorite comfort food: a large order of fries and a vanilla shake.  I would eat half the bread I made in the bread machine in one sitting, and could eat chocolate like it was going out of style.  When I got cancer the first time (Stage 3 - very scary!), I changed the way I looked at food.  It used to be part of the problem - it needed to become part of the solution.  And it took a lot of work.  One of the big things I had to learn to deal with was that nasty binge eating - the thing I did in secret, when I was having a stressful, or an "I don't like me" day.  For me, it took looking at food in a different (Spiritual) way to really be able to change the way I ate.
 
While I was undergoing chemotherapy, I read - a lot!  There wasn't much else I could do.  One of the things I read were the writings of the ancient church Fathers - especially the Desert Fathers.  They talked about controlling the passions, and that if you could not control what you ate, then you couldn't control the others either.  Lust, greed, pride, anger, envy - they all would be a struggle if you could not control your appetite.  It was amazing stuff.  Putting food in its proper place was like a template for getting the other passions in order.  Once you conquered your appetite for food (stopping letting it rule your life), conquering the others would not be so difficult.  I also found that if I was full or weighed down with rich food,  it was difficult to do the other thing I spent my time doing - it was hard to really focus when I prayed.  The cool thing is that, just like poor eating becomes a vicious cycle, I found that if I ate right I could pray more effectively, and if I prayed more effectively, it was easier to eat right.  I guess I am saying that what helped me to stop the pattern that was leading me on a downward spiral was prayer.  And like the church Fathers from 1,700 years ago so wisely said, once I was able to control my eating, I found that I was less likely to lose control of my temper, to get impatient, etc.  I still have a long way to go in completely "conquering" those issues, but, to this day, if I am feeling so stressed that I can't sleep at night, I pray.  And I don't stop until that peace that passes all understanding calms me down enough to let it all go....

With that said, prayer (or meditation) is one of the recommended ways of dealing effectively with stress.  Another is exercise.  Just getting out of the house and taking a brisk walk can do wonders for you.  Plus it gets you away from food, and gives you a release for that Cortisol that is converting your glycogen and fat stores into suger and fat.  One thing I love to do while I walk is pray- it's like a double dose of calming.  Another recommended activity is journaling.  Instead of eating, grab a notebook and write what you are feeling - just get it all out.   You should also remove all tempting foods from your house - don't buy the Dorito chips, cookies, chocolate, or whatever else you crave until you are able to control your urges.  If they have to stay in your house because someone else is eating them and is not having a problem with them, you don't have to totally deprive yourself.  But have "that other person" give you just one serving.  Lastly, have a hunger reality check.  As you reach for those cookies or chips, stop and ask yourself, "Why am I doing this?  Am I really hungry?  And, if so, is this the best I can do for myself?". 

Another thing you should do is to keep busy.  A lot of the time, when we get into destructive eating habits,  we eat simply because we are bored. 

If none of this works, get support.   Lean on a good friend  if and when temptation hits.  Lean on me, if you'd like.  I've been there, done that, and I understand what you are going through.  Write me - I check this Blog or my e-mails about 10 times a day... : )

Well, I hope you forgive me but I just had to get this off my chest.  As always, until we meet again, happy and healthy eating!

(Outside Sources: 
MayoClinic.com - Weight-loss help: Gain control of emotional eating;
 http://www.eatingdisordershelpguide.com/ - Effect of Stress on Eating Habits; 
Personal Nutrition, by Marie A. Boyle - pg. 270; and
Nutrition Counseling, by Kathlleen Bauer - pg. 147)