The Language of God

We are at an interesting junction in the overall scheme of things.  The economy is very bad - several countries are going under much like banks and other "businesses" have been doing domestically.  There have been a seemingly disproportionate amount of earthquakes, hurricanes, and other such natural disasters as of late.  And we seem to be reading more and more news stories of people dying relatively young - from cancer, freak accidents, and suicide. In the midst of all this chaos, there is a tendency to blame God.  And blaming God often turns to a complete disbelief in His existence.  Try talking to a person who angrily rejects God and he or she will undoubtedly tell you that if there was a God, then why is there so much evil and overall bad things happening in this world?  If you try to answer with the fact that we have free will and have made a mess of things, they will tell you that they do not believe in free will.  Moreover, they assert that it is illogical to believe in a higher intelligence.  They have reduced us to nothing more than a series of biological processes and events.  To them, science is truth, and God and science can not mix.  It's been a while since I have had a chance to post anything here.  Since I last touched base with you all, I have been reminded that if you want to keep excess weight off, you have to count calories - there's just no way around it.  We had snow last month - the first time I have seen snow in Northern Virginia as early as October. And I discovered that Breadfruit, a supposedly bland but extremely plentiful plant,  is the food of the future.  I considered posting about one of these topics.  But, instead, I am going to do something I have not done before - I am going to recommend a book. 

The book, The Language of God, by Francis S. Collins, is the most brilliant attempt I have seen to reconcile God with Science.    Collins is a one-time-atheist who is also a renowned scientist, known for his work with the Human Genome Project.   He was among the first to unravel our DNA, a process which led him to understand what he calls "the language of God".  "We have caught the first glimpse of our own instruction book", he said concerning it, "previously known only to God."  Collins unites Darwin's theory of evolution with the story of creation in the book of Genesis as only a scientist can do.  He sees the Big Bang as the moment when God set the universe in motion, ultimately leading to the emergence of life, which culminated in the appearance of intelligent beings that are able to participate in and comprehend the creative process itself.   He gives strong scientific evidence for the existence of a higher, creative intelligence.   And he very articulately explains why we humans inherently possess a longing for something greater than ourselves. 

In response to the claim that a belief in God is merely "wishful thinking", Collins discusses the Moral Code that humankind inherently adheres to, the "God-shaped vacuum' we all seem to have, and culminates with the fact that just because we wish for it doesn't mean it is not true - that "creatures are not born with desires unless satisfaction for those desires exists".  

Collins' thoughtful and thought-provoking scientific arguments for the existence of a higher intelligence include the fact that scientists are unable to explain or interpret the very earliest events in the explosion we know as The Big Bang, as well as explaining how developments in quantum mechanics have now turned scientific determinism on its ear.   His discussion of the Cambrian explosion is compelling (including reducing all of creation to a 24-hour day and realizing that, in that context, if the earth was created at 12:01 a.m., life would have appeared at 3:30 a.m., with the Cambrian explosion at 9:00 p.m., and the extinction of dinosaurs at 11:40 p.m.   Human beings appeared on the scene with just seconds left in the day...)  The question he raises is why and how was there a sudden explosion of complicated life forms so late (9:00 p.m.) in our world's existence?  What "caused" that sudden explosion of life?   His discussion of the ramifications of unraveling our DNA, of course, is the crux of his book and I would do it a severe injustice if I tried to summarize it in anything you could read in a matter of minutes. 

Why am I writing a post on this topic?  The same reason why I have not posted anything in so long.  My heart has been heavy and I have felt weighed down trying to explain and defend why I believe what I do.   I challenge anyone who denies the existence of God on scientific grounds (or knows and loves someone who does) to read this book. 

 

Carrot Cake Oatmeal? Try it, You'll Like It!

Those of you who know me well know that I usually recommend including a bowl of oatmeal as part of your breakfast, and that my favorite cake is carrot cake.  So imagine my delight when a good friend sent me a recipe for "Carrot Cake Oatmeal" (pictured here).  I was hesitant in making it at first - afraid it would be disappointing, as pumpkin oatmeal turned out to be last year.  But, made as recommended, it was surprisingly good!  I had it for breakfast 3 times this week and will continue to make it as the mood arises.  The recipe I was given was completely Vegan and goes as follows:
1 cup Almond milk (I used Almond Breeze, which I highly recommend, since it contains 25% of the daily minimum requirement of calcium, among other things), 1/2 t. lemon juice, 2 T. Coconut Cream (the recipe says to skim it off the top of canned coconut milk.  I actually found coconut curd and used a Tablespoon of that), 1/2 to 1 t. cinnamon, 1/4 t. ground ginger, 1/8  t. ground nutmeg, pinch of salt, 1 cup finely grated carrot, 1/2 cup regular oats, 1 t. vanilla, and 2 T. maple syrup.    In a small saucepan, heat almond milk, lemon juice and coconut cream on medium heat.  Stir in spices and salt until spices dissolve.  Stir in grated carrot and oats; cook for 8 minutes until oats are soft.  Remove from heat; stir in vanilla and maple syrup.  Drizzle with 1/2 t. maple syrup mixed with coconut cream, and (optionally) top with a few chopped walnuts, golden raisins, and a sprinkle of cinnamon.. 

It sounds like a lot of work, but it isn't at all.  I grate the carrot the night before and just squeeze a little lemon into it while it is on the stove.  The rest is really easy.  If, like me, you are a carrot cake fan, try this recipe and let me know what you think of it.  

I hope you are all doing well.  This fall has been so busy for me - something I had not expected with one of my two boys in college.  I hope to write more in here soon.   But until then, happy and healthy eating!

Our Last Week Of Farm Deliveries - Was It Worth It?

Today was our last week of receiving produce from our CSA.  On the left, you can see what was in our bag - a big, beautiful spaghetti squash, beets, apples (which have been delicious!), green leaf lettuce, green beans, and mesclun greens.  I don't have a clue what to do with mesclun greens, but I will learn this week by checking my favorite recipe web sites.  Our season began the first week of June and ran for 20 weeks.  It's funny because we started and ended with greens - something I had not expected.  But don't get me wrong.  I am not complaining.  I have learned to love greens which, until this past season, were nowhere on my radar screen.  The first couple of weeks, we received primarily greens, with the addition of fresh garlic (the best I have ever had), spring onions, asparagus and lettuce.  As you can see from the photo, we now receive a bounty of yummy fruits and vegetables with our "fall" greens. 

Throughout the season, there have been ups and downs with the produce we have gotten.  The cherries and strawberries were small and bitter.  The Asian pears tasted more like potatoes than fruit (although they yielded a delicious pear cake).  And speaking of potatoes, due to the heavy rains, we only got them once and, although they were very tasty, there weren't many of them.  But, when you join a farm, you are part owner, so to speak, and if there is a rough season for some of the produce, you share in whatever the output may be.  It's what I expected. 

In spite of the few disappointments mentioned above, however, overall I was very pleased with what we received.  As I said before, all the greens were incredible.  I have occasionally purchased greens from the market and, for lack of a better word, they always had a "smell" to them.  Plus, they always made me sick - stomach upset, pain - symptoms that had once led me to believe I was possibly allergic to raw spinach, Kale, and lettuce.  With the greens we got from the farm, I never once got sick.  I felt perfectly fine, in fact, with all the food I ate, whether it was peaches, apples, beets, eggplant, squash, or greens.  Which leads me to believe that I am "bothered" by whatever they spray on fruit and vegetables to either get them to market or to keep them looking good enough to sell at a market.  Not necessarily the pesticides they may use, but preservatives, anti-fungals, and other things that were not used on the produce we got from our farm.  Sadly, even some "organic" produce from a conventional market bothers me.  Maybe it's what they wash it with to make it presentable.  I mean, the stuff from our farm was often covered in dirt - nice pure earth that I enjoyed washing off to get to the treasure that lay beneath.  It was like I had grown it and picked it myself!

Will I join the CSA next year?  I would really like to.  My husband thinks that at $500, it was expensive.  But over 20 weeks, that comes out to just $25 a week.  I could easily spend more than that on produce at the grocery store.  Yes, I had to still buy carrots, onions, peppers, and potatoes from the store since they did not grow them on our farm (normally they do grow lots of potatoes, but the crops were largely ruined this year).  But, as a rule, I planned my meals around what I knew was coming from our CSA.  On Monday, we received an e-mail telling us what we would be getting each Thursday.   And during peach and apple season which covered more than half of the time we received the produce, I ate at least a fruit a day - sometimes 2 or 3.  They were so good!

Many of you have asked me about our CSA and if I would recommend joining one.  The answer is definitely yes. 

It's been a while since I have written in here.  Lots going on with my boys!  I hope you are enjoying this fall season.   Until next time, happy and healthy eating!

Unfinished Business

I don't believe in the Easter Bunny, the Boogey Man, or the Tooth Fairy, but, crazy as it sounds, I do believe in ghosts.  It's not a far stretch from believing in the soul - the part of us that continues on after we have shed this body that keeps us captive here on earth.  If you are a Christian, then I know you have heard of the "Holy Ghost" - the "Spirit" part of the Trinity - the part that exists around and in us and that guides us through our trials and tribulations.  I do not believe that heaven is literally above us or that hell is somewhere down below either.  I believe that, somehow, the "afterlife" exists on the same plane as the one we occupy.  If our eyes could see into the spiritual realm, I think we'd be shocked by what is around us.  With bodies, we are limited by space and time, as well as by what we can hear, taste, see, smell, and touch.  Without them, the possibilities are endless.  Recently scientists discovered that with the neutrino, it is possible to go faster than the speed of light.  It turned Einstein's theory of relativity on its proverbial ear!  Translation?  Theoretically, time-travel may be possible.   I also believe that, with all the possibilities that will be available to us, for most of us, the realm we will be in after our bodies die is so wonderful, that we will have no reason, no desire, to hang around "here" anymore.  But for some, that is just not the case.  For some, there is what can best be described as unfinished business.  In the photo above and to the left is a window on one of the at least 3 buildings on the William & Mary campus that is rumored to house a ghost.  Below is another one:

I took these photos during what was called a "Lantern" (or late-night) tour of the campus.  It's strange but I was not trying to find ghosts on the tour, however at these 2 locations (both of which are purported to be haunted) there were shadows or light in the windows, as you can see in my photographs.  Coincidence?   I'm not so sure...

When I was 17, my grandmother died and, for several days afterward, she came into my and my mother's rooms in the middle of the night and brushed a comforting hand across our cheek.  Even though we were startled at being awakened by her touch, it did not frighten us per se.  It was just something she had to do.   She had died completely conscious and aware, but unable to speak due to a tracheotomy, therefore unable to tell us one last time how much she loved us, or to say good-bye.  At least that's how I have tried to make sense of it. 

In a beautiful book called God's Child Andrew, a mother and father write about the death of their 6 year old son, Andrew, who had wanted nothing more than to be an Altar Boy.  And on one icy Sunday, on the way to church of all things, there was an accident and little Andrew was killed.  The family's grief was so strong that Andrew appeared to his mother, father, and grandmother, encouraging all of them to stop mourning, that he was happy and at peace.  I had the pleasure of meeting with and talking to this incredible couple (the father actually became a priest because of what he had experienced!) and it was such a blessing.  I will forever be grateful for the experience. 

So, yes, I do believe in ghosts, but that is not exactly what this post is about.  I have been unable to sleep lately because I left unfinished business down in Williamsburg.  And like a ghost that can not find peace, the soul within me will not rest until I go back down there and take care of things.  When we were there last weekend, my son was sick and feverish.  He had an infection but had not been taking his antibiotics properly.  Everything in me told me not to go home - but we had to.  My husband had a job to get back to and my other son had to go to school.  I felt I should have stayed and it has bothered me all week.  He is not feeling much better, so now, I am going back - by myself - to make sure my son is all right.  And, if not, to help him get the care he needs.  I look at the many pictures I took of our visit last weekend, but the ones that I can not stop looking at are the windows with the shadows behind them.  Like kindred spirits reaching out to each other across a transparent divide, I know my place.  Right now at least, it is to be back with them on that 300+ year old campus filled with opportunities, incredible young men and women, and the spirits of those who, for whatever reason, have been destined (or have chosen to) stay behind... 

Update on Our Farm

It's been a while since I have posted anything about our CSA and I have been receiving several inquiries lately.  Mainly, "Is it worth it to join one?", and, "Will you do it again next year?  Personally, I have enjoyed it.  Nothing I have eaten has "bothered me" and a lot of store-bought produce does, especially greens.  I think there has been more Kale and Chard than my husband was hoping for, and the Asian pears taste like raw potatoes, but besides that, it has been great. 

As for the greens, I have learned to really enjoy them, especially using recipes I find online.  Kale is a bit chewy, but the flavor is nice and it is so good for you.  As for the "tasteless" Chinese pears, I baked them into a cake (see photo above).  I found the recipe online and reduced the 3/4 cups oil it called for to 1/4 cup, adding 1/2 cup applesauce as a substitute for the remaining oil.  I also used eggbeaters for the 3 eggs it called for and cut the pecans down from 1 cup to 1/2 cup.   And it turned out great - passed the "younger son" taste-test with flying colors.

One thing you need to realize if you join a farm (or CSA as they are called) is that they can only grow what is in season for your region.  And here, in Northern Virginia, it has been a lot of greens, peaches, corn, beets, Japanese eggplant, green beans, apples, and Chinese pears (so far).  This week, we will receive our first installment of squash - acorn squash, to be exact.  I imagine that over the next month or two, we will be receiving different types of squash, as well as cooking pumpkins, and potatoes.  And that will be fine with me! 

Will we do it next year?  For my husband, I may try our local Farmer's Market instead.  He wants me to try going there once a week and actually choosing what we want, as opposed to getting a box filled with what our farm is growing that week, divided out to each "member" as the crops allow.  But I have a feeling we will be back the following year.  I have really enjoyed our farm and all the new foods it has introduced to our diet.

Fall officially begins this week.  Can you believe it?   I hope you all had a wonderful summer!  Until next time, happy and healthy eating! 

Bottled Water: Friend or Foe?

The day we moved my son into his college dorm, it was miserably hot, so we bought him and his roommate a case of bottled water.  Later that weekend, my son texted us to say that the water was ruined -  his roommate had stuck it all in their freezer and it was now poisoned.   Yesterday, a friend sent me an e-mail warning me and some other undisclosed recipients not to drink bottled water that has been left in a hot car - that Sheryl Crow's oncologist told her the dioxin that leaches from such bottles caused her breast cancer!   

Well, as both a connoisseur of bottled water and a two-time breast cancer survivor, I felt it was time to do some research in an attempt to set the record straight.  You see, I can only drink bottled water with any regularity.  When I drink too often from those lovely taps that allow things like that supposedly harmless orangey-pink-tinted bacteria to get through, I get mouth sores the size of a dime.  To most people this bacteria is supposedly harmless, but it isn't to me.  When my system is really run down, I even have to rinse my mouth with bottled water after brushing my teeth.   And, yes, I always leave a bottle of water in my car.  I sometimes get thirsty when I drive.  Funny thing is that when I was diagnosed with Stage 3 breast cancer 10 years ago, we were drinking only filtered tap water...Needless to say, I was a skeptic when it came to all this sudden hype about bottled water and was, frankly, angry at the audacity of some of the claims.

In January of 2008,  a representative from Johns Hopkins refuted the supposed claim that freezing water bottles leaches dioxin into the water.  He called it what it was - an Email Hoax.  And as for bottles of water getting hot in your automobile and then becoming poisonous?  Unless, the bottles are made of inflexible (hard), "unclear" plastic, there is no danger of anything happening to the water.  The chemical that can potentially leach from plastic into water is Bisphenol A (or BPA). And disposable bottles do not contain the chemical.  "Plastic bottles of the type used for commercially marketed water are regulated by the FDA as 'food contact substances' and are held to the same standards as food additives."  (About.com, April 2007)  Yes, I know that the FDA is not perfect and has let several unsavory items slip through the cracks, but poison in our water bottles is not one of them. 

This is a very touchy subject for me, since after 4 of my 5 immediate family members contracted some form of cancer in a 5-year period, a study was conducted in the area in which I grew up and an unusually high number of cancer outbreaks (with a cancer death in virtually every family on our block alone) demonstrated that I grew up in a cancer hot-bed.  The culprit was something I was alerted to way back in 1981, after beginning a campaign to rid our area of the smelly, oily, brown sludge that stained our sinks and bathtubs.  This was in my college apartment, 30 miles from where I grew up, but it opened a can of worms.  We found that the culprit's business practices covered an extremely wide area.  And it seemed that I had moved from the proverbial frying pan into the flame!  Where I grew up, we were upwind from a series of oil refineries that occasionally made our air unfit to breathe.  Schools were closed due to "bad air" that made it literally painful to inhale.  Moreover, for as long as I could remember we "had" to have bottled water delivered to our house because the stuff that came out of our pipes tasted so bad.  

Our tap water is something I wish more of us did care about.  Why should we put up with pinkish orange bacteria?  And how do we know it is really harmless?  The alternative is equally daunting.  Large quantities of free chlorine are sometimes run through our water supplies when they are found to contain dangerously high levels of the more dangerous bacterias.  Has it ever hurt your eyes when you let the hot water run for too long?  Like when you are doing a huge batch of pots and pans?  Or taking a long, hot shower on a cold, cold morning?  This is far scarier to me than leaving my water bottle in my car.

Dioxin, one of the most deadly chemicals known to man, was what Agent Orange was made of.  And we know what that was used for.  It was an exfolliant that stripped trees bare of all life so our soldiers in Viet Nam could navigate through dense terrain.  Sadly, it also stripped people it came in contact with of things like hair and skin, not to mention the long-term affects of having been doused with it.  Dioxin is formally called Polychlorinated Dibenzodioxin and can occur naturally when fire comes into contact with chlorine.  Hmmmm....I wonder why very hot, chlorinated water might make our eyes burn   Diseases linked to dioxin exposure include an unsightly skin condition called chloracne, problems with one's tooth enamel, nervous system disorders, thyroid conditions, diabetes, and damage to one's immune system (leading, I would imagine, to a susceptibility to various cancers).  It was manufactured to do such things as bleach paper white and came to the forefront during the Love Canal tragedy which made headlines in the late 70's. 

I am not saying that bottled water is pure and clean.  I'm not sure that completely pure water exists anywhere anymore.  But if you get an Email telling you that the water you've been drinking in your car can kill you, delete it and do not give it another thought.  And if you should accidentally (or intentionally) freeze your bottled water, there is no need to throw it out.  Remember, we are made of about 80% water and need to drink several glasses a day.  And be wise when you give your body anything it needs....Until next time, happy and healthy eating (and drinking!).

Reflections On A Recent Chat With My Son

The other day, I am ashamed to admit that I had a pity-party.  On September 12, 2001, as we all were reeling over the tragedy of 9/11, I had the first of many surgeries that marked the beginning of my struggle with cancer.   I heard myself sharing that with my friends and whining about how I wish I had never undergone chemotherapy, since it has left me with a permanently impaired immune system and memory, and painful growths all over my liver.  And to those friends, I offer my apologies.  Because my very wise 16-year old son helped me put things in perspective - again.  He reminded me of the tremendous good that came from my having gone through what I did 9+ years ago.  He understands that I would never put my body through an ordeal like that again, but  reminded me of the wonderful gift God gave me during that time - a gift that will last a lifetime and beyond.

In August of 1981, I reached the point in my life where I knew beyond a doubt that God was real and that, because He came in the flesh and reconciled mankind to Himself, I would never die - not in any way that matters.   I would eventually shed this body that gets sick and breaks down with time, but I would still "be".  It was a wonderful revelation and it sustained me throughout my life.  But when I was undergoing grueling cancer treatments 20 years later, I feared I would not survive, and what had been a warm-and-fuzzy relationship with my God, suddenly took a dramatic turn.

Many women do just fine through chemotherapy treatments, feeling some nausea and becoming fatigued, but none the worse for the wear.  I was not one of those women.  After my first treatment, I was so hyped up that my heart raced, I could not sleep for days and my eyes occasionally rolled back into my head.  This was due, I discovered, to the steroids I was given to help stave off a possible allergic reaction.  We could not eliminate them altogether, but we cut the dose in half.  I've been told that there are high performers on chemo and low performers (people who handle the drugs just fine and those who don't).  I was an extremely low performer.  After the third of 6 treatments, we could not control the vomiting.  For days on end, I was unbelievably nauseous - have never felt anything like it since, even with stomach flu.  My white blood cells plummeted to almost nothing and made me susceptible to pneumonia and various other infections (things I still struggle with now), and when my red blood cells fell as well, it became difficult to breathe.  Long story short, I was sure I was going to die - that my body would not survive the battering it was taking.  And I took to prayer like I never had before.

Before those days, when I prayed for comfort, I got it.  God's presence would envelope me like a warm blanket and I knew all would be well.  But when I prayed during the 6 months I underwent chemotherapy treatments, God dealt with me much differently.  There was no more soothing milk, so to speak - it was time for solid food and hard truth.  God showed me that physically dying would not be the worst thing that could happen to a soul.  And he revealed areas in my life that had spun out of control, leaving me spiritually broken and crippled.  I have shared some of this with you before so I won't belabor the point, but suffice it to say that my diet was such a mess that, my lack of control over what I was eating, led to lack of control in most other areas of my life, as well.  The book of the Bible God led me to read?  Revelations.  I learned that, like everything else in God's Word, there was not one meaning to that difficult, highly symbolic book.  At one time or another, each person goes through his or her own personal "revelation" - a reckoning, a test of fire, a final battle here on earth.  I learned a lot and, through the years, I have shared that knowledge with my son, who has one of the deepest relationships with God I have seen.  

The other night, after I had my pity-party, my son and I shared a dinner together and I confessed what I had done and how I felt that day and he pulled me up short.  He told me that it was because of what I had been through and how God had dealt with me through it (including healing me of liver cancer - see post dated 3/19/11 ), that he had the faith he did.  He knew I would die someday (we all die), but was thankful that God was keeping me here as long as he was.  Oh my!  I was stunned - happily, of course, but stunned nonetheless.  And we proceeded to have "one of our talks"....

As a result, I have remembered to take one day at a time (thankful for each and every one of them), to be mindful of my limitations (but never lose sight of the fact that my "good days" are often very good), and grateful for the things God has taught me, especially that, although this life is indeed a precious gift, it is but a mere flicker in the scheme of things.

This post may seem to have nothing to do with food, except that it was in learning to control my diet that I also learned to control many of the other passions that kept me captive, as well as to be able to draw closer to the Source of all I see, smell, hear, taste, desire, and love.  I have a long way to go - that goes without saying - but I am grateful for the journey, on most days, that is.... : )